I Booked a Flight Abroad During Seat Sale and Felt Both Proud and Guilty at the Same Time

Nag-invest ako sa experience. Pero bakit parang may multa?

I searched flights twice in two days — once on March 1 for Cebu Pacific, once on March 2 for Philippine Airlines — then booked on the second day after crunching numbers on the cheapest destinations. Seat sale season. The kind where your group chat explodes at 2 a.m. and suddenly everyone’s doing mental math on their phone calculators. I got my flight abroad. I should have felt only excitement.

The Part Where Pride and Guilt Share the Same Receipt

I am proud. Let me say that first. Proud that I had spare funds this time. Proud that I didn’t have to ask anyone, didn’t have to borrow, didn’t have to move money meant for something else. I worked for this. I planned for this. And when the seat sale notifications came — the ones we all set alarms for, the ones that feel like a national event — I was ready.

But I am also guilty. Not because I did anything wrong. Guilty because I know what it means to not be ready. Guilty because I’ve been the one refreshing the page just to look, not to book. Guilty because somewhere in my family, in my circle, someone is choosing between experience and remittance. Between “travel while you’re young” and “send money while they’re still here.”

What “Trentahins” Are Actually Doing

Most of us turning thirty soon are doing this: investing in experience. I see it everywhere. Not just on Instagram, though it’s there too — the airport selfies, the “out of office” captions. I mean in real life. In the way we talk about bucket lists now like they’re as urgent as bills. In the way we’ve started asking each other “Saan ka na nakapunta?” the same way our parents asked “May trabaho ka na ba?”

Nothing is wrong with that. And nothing is wrong with skipping the seat sale either. I need to say that clearly, because I’ve been on both sides. It all comes down to priorities. You have spare funds, you go see the world. If you can’t, you try again. Not financial advice — just the truth we don’t post. Everyone has their own battles. One person has extra funds they want to invest in experience. Another is a breadwinner trying to make a living for the family. There’s no right answer.

The Line I Keep Repeating to Myself

Money will return. But time won’t.

I don’t know where I first heard that, but it stuck. Maybe because it’s both comforting and terrifying. Comforting when you’re about to spend money on something that isn’t practical. Terrifying when you realize how much time you’ve already spent waiting for permission — from your budget, from your family, from some future version of yourself who’ll supposedly have it all figured out.

I think one of the best uses of our resources is to spend it on something we won’t regret. Not “won’t regret” in the motivational poster sense. I mean the kind of spending where, even if it’s hard, even if you have to skip other things, you know it mattered. The kind where you’re okay explaining it to yourself later.

What I’m Not Saying

I’m not saying travel is the answer. I’m not saying experience beats stability. I’m not even saying I made the right choice — I just made my choice, this time, with what I had.

What I am saying is this: the guilt doesn’t come from spending. It comes from living in a country where having spare funds feels like luck instead of normal. Where “self-care” and “breadwinner” are identities that rarely overlap. Where we’re all doing some version of the same math — how much can I keep, how much do I owe, how much is left for me?

I booked the flight. I’ll go on the trip. I’ll probably feel guilty again when I’m there, and I’ll probably feel proud again when I come back. Both things will be true. That’s just how it is when you’re Filipino and trying to live your life while also living everyone else’s expectations of what your life should fund.

The seat sale is over now. The group chat has moved on to the next thing. But my confirmation email is still there, and so is the feeling — not quite resolved, not quite settled. Just saved for departure.

A personal essay by Juno dela Cruz for BantayDaily.